Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
