so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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