Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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