It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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