I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
