wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
