you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize