it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
