Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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