Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
