covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
