no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize