We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
