Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His hands were made for my vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
