what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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