Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
