I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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