Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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