It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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