So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize