Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
