I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
