i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
