yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
