I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
