my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
