If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize