Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
