the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
