I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
