You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
