Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
