How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
