Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
