I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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