One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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