Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
