I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize