I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
I need advice on ways to politely say โfuck you on your way to hellโ.
Randomize
