remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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