There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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