they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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