I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
