i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
