Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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