And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
