What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
the raccoons are back...
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