We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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