Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Couch. On fire.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
