I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize