all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
