I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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