THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Randomize
