Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
