somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize