Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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