the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
