Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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