it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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