i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
