he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I believe in your delicious
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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