i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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