And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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