Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
