She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
