so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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