My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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