Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize