Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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