Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
