Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize