i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
