No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
