I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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