Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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