Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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