yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
